You all know me as either a woman right activist or an enviromentalist or an animal right activist, right? But do not converge me into such a small area. I’m beyond that.
I have been simply raising my voice for the voiceless in the societies. Let me talk for the innocent men of our societies today. I have seen a lot around me. I keep on analyzing everytime. I might be wrong, but sorry, this is my blog and I get to put my opinions. So, fasten your seatbelt and lets go on a societal ride with me.
A boy is born in a family. Everyone is a little happier than the time when the girl was born. This is not because a girl is loved less, but this is because our society gets to put more burden on the shoulders of men rather than women; therefore, the family becomes happy to share the larger portion of their burden to this little guy now.
Keeping all the physical strengths of a man and a woman aside, let me ask you some questions. If the cylinder requires refilling of gas, who gets it done, the son or the daughter? If a radio is worn out, who is asked to fix it, the son or the daughter? If the parents are ill, who is asked to get the medicines, the son or the daughter?
Daughters are mostly pampered in the families. Parents want everything perfect for their daughters, but in case of sons, they are asked to do more responsible, physical and mental activities. Even if parents love their sons equally, but they hesitate to show that. A child no matter girl or boy, has equal physical strength and equal emotions at small age. Trying to make a boy stronger by providing him more responsibilities and asking him to do things beyond his age is where it all starts. A girl is treated sensitively, pampered with love, never asked to do such fragile tasks in her childhood and adolesence age which shall continue even when she is an adult.
A boy is laughed at when he cries. He learns not to express his emotions. A boy is always asked to be the pillar in the family. Parents start to show the son how much their expectation is from him. This adds a lot of pressure in his shoulders. This is the reason why more men are into alcohol, drugs, depression and suicide as compared to women worldwide.
A man has certain boundaries in the society. Some of them are:
• You need to look after your parents when they are old
• You need to be physically strong
• You need to be the second father in the house
• You need to be rich enough to get yourself a wife
• You need to be able to raise your kids by providing them all the facilities
• You are not supposed to cry or show your emotions, it is a women’s business
Well, these boundaries might reflect how crucial role a man has, but the dark side of these boundaries also explain something else. When you have more responsibilities, you start to worry more. If something goes wrong, or you do not have workable plans, you start shaking.
I have seen many men in the forms of brothers and friends. They were worried of some weird things in their life. Being worried and not being able to share their feelings led them to go into depression, few also attempted suicide.
Today I beg to society, and everyone around me to stop giving unnecessary burden to poor men. If your father is not able to buy you a new gadget or bicycle, he has reasons. If your husband does not spend more time with you, he has reasons. If your brother is unable to get a good job, he has reasons. If your son fails at class, he has reasons. They are all trying their best, not just to make their life better but along with that to make your life better.
If you cannot help them, at least do not trouble these poor men. The best thing to do is to make them realize that the responsibilities can be shared, you are not alone, and you can speak up too. Listening to their problems and letting them cry is also somsthing that can make a man feel better.
Gender equality can help eradicate this problem. If you treat your sons and daughters equal, not only in terms of education or facilities but also in terms of responsibilities and duties, no men shall feel more burdened. Moreover, whoever feels hurt, can cry. Hiding emotions can be frightening in long run. Be strong, but do not hesitate to express what you feel.
Aleena Rayamajhi
04/09/2019