Her First Period

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“Hide those legs. You are a woman to be.” said my Aunt as I was wearing my old little frock. She always scolds me for such unnecessary things. I don’t like when she visits us. But well, my mother doesn’t scold me for anything. I’m really fortunate that my mother went against the society and still allows me to go to school while Sweta and Rashmi have already stopped going to school. My brother and I both go to school together. I love studying. After returning from school, my brother goes to play while I have to start preparing dinner. After cooking for all and washing dishes, I still find time for books. I feel sad for my friends as their parents are less supportive than mine. Hi, I’m Sahara. I study at class 6. I have a family of four including brother, mother, father and me. We live in this village here at Morang, it is called Rangeli.

Today my parents are not at home. They have gone to a marriage ceremony at my neighbors’. So, I have to look after cattle. My brother has gone to school. I’m home alone. I don’t feel like washing these clothes. I can cook Pudding out of remaining rice from yesterday’s dinner and milk that I collected from our old cow Mohini. It must be the best day of my life so far. Perhaps I can take a quick nap too. I’m exhausted.

 

“What have you done?” I wake up from my nap as I could hear my mother scream and find out blood on my bed sheet. I was bleeding, but I had no idea about that. She spits on my face out of nowhere and drags me down the bed. “You are impure already, do not enter the house. Go stay with Mohini. The gods are angry with you.” I cry out loud. I have no idea what has been happening. Why am I bleeding? Why am I treated like this? I had never seen this side of mother. I carry my pillow and blanket and make my bed near Mohini. Oh it must be that time of the month when mother stays with cows and I have to do her works too. Once we had a class about Menstruation Hygiene. It must be this. I should have paid attention in that class. I cannot stop this blood. I’m scared. My uterus feels like thrones. Am I about to die now?

“Take this. Put it there.” My mother hands me some old pieces of clothes. “Clean yourself. Your brother and father might be here by now. Do not show your face to them. And do not come outside. It is your first bleed. You shouldn’t see the sun for 15 days. I shall bring you everything that you require.” I bow my head as I hear her words. All I require right now is your love, mother. But all I’m getting is to hear your harsh words. It broke my heart. How can I stay here for 15 more days? This place smells like dung and there are so many flies hovering around me. “Every woman has to go through this; it is a part of woman’s life. Don’t cry like a child, you are a woman now.” I can see her leave. If being a woman is this horrible, I don’t want to be one. I wish I were a boy…
It is getting dark. I have never stayed away from mother. I can hear my brother’s laugh from inside the warm house. How happy he seems, while I’m here in this dark and cold place with weird noises. I have always been scared of blood. But today, it has been the part of me. It flows and I cannot do anything about it. My body feels so weak. I wish to be around my mother’s arm, where I could forget every pain and sleep in peace. Dear mother, why have you gone so violent? Did you forget I’m your daughter after all?

“Wake up. Go take a bath and wear these.” My mother hands me some clothes and food. So it seems I have completed one day at this cowshed. Oh, I have so many rashes in my arms and face. It must be because of the mosquito’s bites. “Mother, when shall I stop bleeding?” I asked my mother. “Probably six to seven days.” This gave me Goosebumps. Will I be able to live by bleeding for seven days? Well, I should stay here for a while as mother is nowhere around. I can smell fresh air at least. “What wrong had I done in my past life that I have a sight of an impure girl?”My father screams. I should not have been here. He saw me. Now he will have a bad day. “I told you to stay in the cowshed. Why are you still out?” I run into the cowshed while my mother scolds me. It seems even my father has stopped loving me. What have I done wrong? I don’t want to be a daughter anymore. Can’t I be a son, please?

It has been few days already. I’m used to all these bitter words towards me. My brother hasn’t come to visit me even once. I miss him. I miss school and friends. I’m so weak and tired. I think I need to sleep now. I shall clean this blood tomorrow. After all, cleaning blood wouldn’t make this place good enough to live in. What is this thing crawling towards me? Is that snake? “Mother, help me. There’s a snake.” “Help, Mother.”

“Where am I?” I can see my father, mother and brother around me along with two nurses. “You have been bitten by a snake. You are fortunate enough to be alive.” said one of the nurses. My mother grabs me in her arms. She is shedding tears in distress. I had been missing this kind of love. I can hear my father and brother crying too. So it all required a snake to bite me to get all the love? Why wasn’t I bitten before? I am ready to be bitten each day if I can get my mother’s arm around me.

“You have a vaginal infection too.” said the other nurse. “Take care of yourself. You need to stay clean. Eat enough and keep yourself warm.” It seems I have stopped bleeding from there. My menstruation week has ended. Well, it has been bleeding from my leg now because of the snake bite. But, snake bites are wonderful, they provide you pain in your body but bring your loved ones around you that can heal all kind of other pains. But vaginal bleeding are harsh, they provide pain in the body as well as they take away all the loving people from you. “I should have never let you be there in the cowshed.” my mother speaks with tears in her eyes.

I’m home now. I have been in my room after a long time. My mother says, I shall be kept in my room even during my menstruation days from now on but she says I still will have to follow some rituals. I have always wanted to be a son from my birth. But I know this is not going to happen. Even though, I’m not born as a boy, I have another wish from gods. I want to have a girl child someday when I’m married. I shall treat my daughter in the best possible way. I shall nourish her during her first menstruation. I shall sleep near her in the same bed. I shall put her in my arms unless she falls asleep. I shall provide her with nutritious foods. I shall teach her to keep herself clean and to stay away from infections. I shall provide her all the love she needs that I lacked once. I shall go against my husband, society and everyone who would point a finger at us. I shall abolish this immoral tradition at least in my home someday.

‘This is an imaginary story. But we know there are plenty of girls and women like Sahara who have been treated in this way or may be worse. We should be brave enough to abolish this cruel tradition from our society. A mother plays the best role to abolish it. No mother would wish her daughter to have such treatment but she might be scared of the husband or the society. Stand up against Menstruation rituals and help every mother to let her daughter have best treatment during that time of a month.’

Aleena Rayamajhi
4/13/2018